Onasaki

The lord, he hath spoketh to me, and said.. "YOU ARE UNWORTHY OF MY BEARD! SUCCUMB TO THE PERILS OF CHEESE AND BE OFF!" I believe he is trying to tell me something. But I'm not sure what, so after a long trial of meditation, some pills, and maybe even a little dancing, I had a vision. Didn't see a damned thing, but I was overcome by a very feeling.. an urge, some would say.. to draw. I believe this is what the Lord spoke of!

So here we have it, for the next couple of months.. I will probably be uploading a bunch of random attempts at drawing. They will be hideous, I warn you, but bare with me and mayhap the Lord shall shine upon me and grant me His blessing upon thy bleak and unbearable world. Thou art base and debauched as can be.. and a knight with his banners all bravely unfurled now hurls down his gauntlet to thee!  I am, I, Don Quixote the Lord of La Mancha, my destiny calls and I go... and the wild winds of fortune will carry me onward, oh withersoever they blow..

Hear me heathens, and wizards and serpants of sins.. your dastardly doings are past.. for a--Wait a minute, when the hell did I start singing? Anyway, drawings. Soon. All over the place. It will be like cockroaches. Maybe. Who knows? Point is, I'm trying and learning, and failing and learning some more. One day, I shall grace the net with wonderful fanart! Or.. die trying. But these things happen.

So, it's April already. Funny how time flies when you're bored out of your mind, doing nothing but sitting on your ass and just staring into space. Well, it's a good thing I don't do that, now, huh? I mean, it's not like anyone reads these things so I don't even know why I keep typing them when I feel the urge too. So, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...Okay not getting anywhere, maybe I should talk about something? But what? What is there to talk about that, obviously, noone cares about? Hrrm..

I could talk about cheese. Yes, Cheese. The golden fruit of the Lord Sheogorath, granted by He, who hath blessed those fortune with Beards. There's all kinds of cheese, and it's been around forever. Old Cheese. New Cheese. Red Cheese. Blue Cheese. All sorts of cheese, and cheese-like objects that fill the shelves of the Dairy and Deli aisles. It started many a year ago, when the world was young, the Great Madgod spread out his arms over our pathetic little planet and said.. "CHEESE. FOR EVERYONE!" and it rained, for twenty days, and twenty nights, as the cheese piled up. Clogging the intestines for generations to come!

It was then, the Madgod realized.. how can you live on just cheese? This had him thinking for a good month or so, before he finally said. "How about I make clowns? YES! CLOWNS! And fill them with chocolate syrup."

Then the rest is history, or so they say. That's enough of the history lesson for today, kiddies. Not like anyone cares, or even reads these things.

OH! And by the way, I'm apparently, Hazgarn's good luck charm. Maybe I can actually beat her--I mean, um.. convince her, politely, with words. Not blunt objects.. to work on that comic of hers! ..Yeah.. *cough* LOOK SHINEY RED BALL! *flees*

So, I sit here, typing. Not like anyone ever reads these, I mean, who would read them? Not many people. I don't have that many watchers or anything, and I'm rarely active to begin with! So, why do I write? Well, simply because I have nothing better to do then to post my random thoughts upon the internet like it was some sort of random thought placing area of randomness. I mean, it /isn't/ is it(Maybe). But who am I to judge? The internet is here, so I must type on it.

Alot of people have those thoughts, don't they? Anyway, lets stop rambling for a minute and think straight. Though, I tend to think zig-zaggedly as opposed to straight, but call me a unqiue thinker. So, reasons.. well, I guess I can point to the shiney little Premium asterisk on my name now. A whole whopping 29.95 dollars for free. And I rarely use this as is! But it wasn't about me, it was about my friend. *Hazgarn, who is, to say, a rather gifted person in both writing and drawing. She refuses to admit this, but I know it, you know it. And the internet who knows her, knows it.

Still reading? Good, 'cause it's not getting any more asskissery then this. Point is, she deserved it. More then I can say, more then anyone can say really. She deserved it, and that's just it. She's probably going to beat me senseless for spending money on her when I shouldn't have. But I should have. I should've done this a long long time ago in a galaxy far far away... STAR WARS, War! The republic is crumbling under the ruthless attacks of the--Waitaminute.. somewhere I lost my train of thought. Oh right, that thing with the money, and the stuff. Anyway, it's something I should've done a long time ago. It should be enough of a kick in the ass-wake-up call to get her to realize one thing, and one thing alone. She has SO MUCH to contribute to the world then she realizes. Yeah, I said it, and I mean every word.

So you crazy interwebs can kiss my ass. You know damn well she's talented if you know her. She deserves her place in the world as the webcomic artist of this year's last chicken sandwich.. wait that made no sense. Either way, she needs a place. And her place is here. Among us all, with her web of doom and her daughter of a trolliness(He wants to crush my bones into dust for getting him addicted to Fallout, but who wouldn't want to be?).

If I could, at this very moment, set up everything she needed for her webcomic to prosper, or at least get her a career in drawing and commisioning. I would. But for now, a premium account for a year will have to suffice. Don't believe me? Well suck it, asshat. I don't know why you're reading this in the first place.

Either way, if I had to do it again? I would. And every video game in the world wouldn't keep me from doing something for someone so deserving. I'm a good person. I may not show it, I may seem like an annoying jerk who's just venting over his lack of sexual relationships. But screw sex. I don't need it, and it doesn't need me. There are plenty of horndogs out there having sex with every Tom, Dick and Harry they lay their eyes on(Yes, that's partially a gay joke but who cares?).

The only thing that matters to me, is 3 or 4 things. My family. My writing. My Roleplaying. And My friends. To hell with everything else, and I'll sit back and watch it ALL BURN. That's right. I'm an apocolyptical thinker. I'mma watch it ALL BURN DOWN. MUAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAA!! Ooo.. a bit too much coffee. Who cares. I mean it. And if that's not enough, I don't know what is. So screw you society, with your disgustingly stereotypical ways and your bad hairstyles, and horrible smell. You mean nothing to me. And you're nothing but a bunch of jumped up idiots looking for ways to live your life without realizing the one and only truth of the matter. That nothing matters more then friendship, family, and well.. that's it, really.

The aliens will come down, look at us, and blast us all to hell. Thinking about what a horrible mistake they made by giving us the tools to evolve into living thinking creatures who do nothing but murder, steal, and wage war with everyone else who isn't them. This may sound hypocritical, but who are YOU to judge ME?